I haven’t left home again today I tend towards the Eremitic at the best of times and in the dodgy times – its more than a tendency. What I did have was S.C. call in and that always helps me. We sit and talk. Its a strange thing being suddenly widowed. Everything changes in a moment. And stays changed. So we sit and talk and breathe the same note unspoken.

She looks at the beach and the surf and I look at the lagoon and we yearn for the floating and the salt.

And then I weary. And come inside. Wondering at random about almost everything.

Its a strange thing being widowed all of a sudden. And then continuing. People – well – people mean well but less often do well. Maybe I will get her to come out to Bundagen for .lunch at the cafe on Tuesday. Do things we don’t normally do. I also need some winter clothes for down South.

So –  the heater is near baking me but I am warm. The bleeding leak seems to have eased and I don’t think my nose is as blocked. Having experienced an illness that escalated in a day or two to near death has spooked the beejeesus out of me. Symptoms which would once have been merely annoying are now freakouts and death looks imminent.

My Poppy is going on Survival Camp with her school tomorrow. Down there in the South where its cold and she is excited. They are sleeping in AFrames without sides and cooking and walking in through the bush.

The Little Girls went to a party today dressed as pirates. Out at Fernmount.

But I stayed home and I stayed indoors. And I slept and read and healed.

This day is therefore done clean and sober and no prescription medications.

This day is done and all is fundamentally well.

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I woke happy and pain free this morning. Delighting in dreams and thoughts of MY kind of people. I think JB was in the dreams and Polly M and Christine Y from the States.

I am once again cancelling out the day. I am still less than one year in the heavy mourning and it is not yet time to put aside the sackcloth and ashes. The door is locked. The phones are about to be turned off. The electric blanket is warming my bed and I have a novel on the Kindle. I am staying here in the bowels of Official Mourning – where I belong for a little longer. Comforted. Asking nothing of myself. Proving nothing to nobody. Attending to none of my business matters or obligations.

It sits very well within my being to do that. So I sit in the shack by the lagoon and I watch the strange things that people do near lagoons. BURRAS

The Dangers of Toxic Mold Exposure

Mold in your home, school, or workplace can pose a number of serious health problems that you may not realize are related to mold exposure. This article is part of a series of articles I wrote about this silent health threat. The focus of this particular article will be on some of the more serious medical conditions—some deadly—with which mold has been associated.

For more information, check out this article on the overview of mold – where you might find it, how to identify it, and how to get rid of it.

via The Dangers of Toxic Mold Exposure.

via The Dangers of Toxic Mold Exposure.

Here’s Everything We Know About Brittany Murphy’s Death on What Would’ve Been Her 37th Birthday – In Touch Weekly

It’s hard to believe it’s been almost five years since the “Clueless” beauty tragically died way too soon at the age of 32. Since she was pronounced dead of “natural causes” in December 2009, a lot has come to light about her mysterious and heartbreaking death.

In February 2010, her death was ruled accidental — with pneumonia and anemia, exacerbated by the mixture of over-the-counter cold medications, listed as the cause of her death. But when her husband, Simon Monjack, was found dead of the same cause five months after she passed, some suspicions were raised.

via Here’s Everything We Know About Brittany Murphy’s Death on What Would’ve Been Her 37th Birthday – In Touch Weekly.

via Here’s Everything We Know About Brittany Murphy’s Death on What Would’ve Been Her 37th Birthday – In Touch Weekly.

Mutiny of the Soul

Mutiny of the Soul

By Charles Eisenstein /

Depression, anxiety, and fatigue are an essential part of a process of metamorphosis that is unfolding on the planet today, and highly significant for the light they shed on the transition from an old world to a new.

When a growing fatigue or depression becomes serious, and we get a diagnosis of Epstein-Barr or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or hypothyroid or low serotonin, we typically feel relief and alarm. Alarm: something is wrong with me. Relief: at least I know I’m not imagining things; now that I have a diagnosis, I can be cured, and life can go back to normal. But of course, a cure for these conditions is elusive.

via Mutiny of the Soul.

via Mutiny of the Soul.


I went shopping with my daughter today – to Toormina. I am now stocked up with frozen meals and fruit and other things. I had a Hot Dog today. And a can of Coca Cola. First Hot Dog in a decade. The obsessive food focus of my life with Iz is not something I miss and I am sick to death of fretting over every mouthful that I consume. It is very common nowadays. So I had a Hot Dog. 11312709_10152936770236342_6795361068546593102_o