Don’t know where the time goes.

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I thought I was done for the day but the wound opened up again. I don’t know what kicked it off tonight but it happens at least once a day. Then I suddenly feel like vomiting. And memories flood through me. Then, I think about the things that aren’t going to happen now. And Sleep drifts away from me . A sense of unreality comes over me and I ache to be too weary to stay awake but weariness doesn’t come.

I don’t think Grief is a journey or a fecking process. Lordie I hate the palliative triteness. Anyway, its getting better. My head is clearer. things are more comprehensible and the pain don’t seem quite so deep nor quite so enormous or long lasting.

And now I have chapters of a book to read from a Prof at UTS. How lucky am I ? I fair thought my brain was fried after the Dreaming. A 3 week coma don’t help things along much. I thought I wouldn’t be able to walk and move about and now , look at me, I can walk all the way to Fairyland and read PhD level material. I can plan a flight to Eden and drive my car.

Hey Izzy – I have had work in an art gallery in Akron, Ohio and now I am reading early draughts of a book on private rentals.

Hey Izzy – how cool are we?


Took a trip to Fairyland today and it wasn’t far from here. Just a walk away with two little girls. We found some good things through the magic gate, so we did and next time we are going further.  I had a very kindly day today. I now have all of Izzy’s books and things here. Safe. I liked it in Fairyland.


I also received a message from a detox and rehab in the USA and it touched my heart.

Sobriety remains primary purpose and I feel only minimally involved at the moment. Its in the next load of washing I need to do and dry and sort.

What do I do next about Recovery ?

Where am I best placed ?

What work am I best at ?

I am beginning with Facebook and 2-3 meetings a week.

I am doing some writing.

Then I am going South to some different meetings and maybe coming back through Canberra to visit with Jo P and do some City Meetings.

Then perhaps I come home and let it all incubate.



Magic things happen there so I am told. We found a perfect white feather and a log and a spider fairy. And then we saw a wee fairy that looked like a butterfly. It went up into the high trees.


Good Night, Beloveds.