So we had music and good food and company. We talked of many things. Now I feel myself withdrawing again into myself. There are several things I don’t intend doing again. Things that my life with Izzy involved. There are also things which I intend doing again which he didn’t like to do – like flying.
And now its a quiet night at home alone with the heater on. I have a Peter Corris novel to read on my Kindle and the electric blanket is on. I am enjoying solitude again as I have so often done in my life. And I am tired. I think I have a tick on my side. If I become sooky in this time – so be it. I am sorry for myself and Iz tonight and don’t really care about anyone else – just for one night. I want to snuggle into bed with him – but he is gone.
And then I think of my Boy and my friend , Sandra and I know we have all lost. WE all hurt and sorrow and rouse ourselves to go on living. Sleep now. Perchance to dream.