What a difference a day makes. The day shaped up all amiss. I truly do not enjoy being back in the Land of Early Recovery. Its not Early Recovery from Active Addiction but it is Early Recovery from Death and Coma and House Move and I am experiencing many of the things I did back in the late 80s and I do not like it very much at all.
So I set out this morning and my mind went into muddled and the old ” did I leave the heater on ? ” syndrome which I haven’t suffered from for many years. Then it escaped into the – Should I go to the Meeting or the Acupuncturist or the Beautician or put petrol in Alfie.
Round about then, I realised I had a Wild Beast on the Loose and returned to Base to start again.
The Heater, of course, was off. I am an obsessive. I re-exited the Shack and the neighbour stopped to chat. She levels me. An inherently sane young woman.
She reminded me of what my Sister used to say in those terrible months of her dying.That she did whatever she was cap[able of doing on that given day.
So, the Beast shrank just a little and I drove off with relatively good vision considering the Liver and the Cataract, I headed past the Meeting but I could hear the Daughter’s Voice saying ” You need the acupuncture and herbs again, Mum ” So I go round the block several times. Get some money out of the ATM. Cancel the Beautician. Make a hairdressing appointment. (all unusual experiences for me) I go to middle petrol station and fill Alfie up for $60. They will do driveway service there if asked and we had a wee chat about Tumbarumba. It was the first town I taught in in 1970 and the Manager of the Servo came from there.
The Wild Beast’s hair smoothed down with the Idle Banter and we set off for Bello. From that point onwards things began to truly go smoothly.
I parked easily in the Crowded Town Of Bellingen. Walked into the CWA Rooms where the Clinic is held and was greeted ever so warmly and with affection.
I almost wanted to cry because I have been so ill again and so sad.
I almost wanted to cry because they are the ones who stopped the agony of the spastic cramping pain.
I almost wanted to cry because I hurt so mush and I am so lonely.
They gave me a heated table and put lamps on me. They talked of this and that and gave me acupuncture including a mild electro therapy. They put a warm soft blanket on me and went away to mix herbs for me. Hours later – we were done and I didn’t want to cry anymore and they had also attended to the blood that leaks and the fluid that torments me. Even the clawing arthritis and the blurring vision were better.
And most of all – they loved me as I do them.
They did in fact restore me to a condition where I could think clearly and I was able to go out to Brierfield and visit with the Girls. THE BEAST was once again soothed.
As Bob Earle said :
GO WHERE YOU ARE LOVED. GO WHERE SOMEONE CARES ABOUT YOU – EXACTLY AS YOU ARE.