I slept almost all day. That was good. Then I did tonight’s meeting. That was likewise good and for once I declined sharing despite its being my birthday celebration. I have laryngitis and was sane enough not to force it. I got a card and a chocolate cake. Then I found that Trish and Noel had made me one specially and were being sent home with it as not needed. I need it. I asked for . I love T and N. It is a perfect cake.
I have an under feeling of happiness tonight – just saying. My rent is paid. I am beginning to enjoy my lifestyle alone as I do meetings differently and ACCEPTANCE grows.
That Doc on Duty didn’t do much for me physically but the simple words that I was fine – for my Baseline – have made a big difference to me and I have begun to ACCEPT a new baseline in many areas including not seeing the Girls as much. Peace comes then. I have further to go in defining this but already there are Improvements.
Another area is re-acceptance of being unable to change anything or anyone at all – not even one jot. Gradually, it will lead me to making changes in how I am living. Its already got me giving up on pushing the present NA shit up the hill again.
Whatever I do next needs to be based around Recovery and Meetings. I might even cancel the eye surgery till a later date when I am stronger.
I am also sleeping much better since I stopped drinking a full bottle of creaming soda each night. I am really enjoying the steamed vegies and just need to add rice now.
Today I picked some peach blossom. I have two trees in full flower and I got some jasmine from the vine between our houses.
Nearing Midnight again. Bed for me. That is enough in one day.