So far its been about the Loss and the Separation. Now, I am sitting here. Alone. Who am I , now ? What do I want to do ? What am I able to do? I think its time for bed and book. A little early and I am afraid of the waking hours but bed it is.
Cold again today. I did the things I am meant to do. Do the action and let the feelings follow. So I got up and went to meeting. Then I went for lunch with the others. Bought healthy food for dinner. Slept in the afternoon. Then when the sun began to set, I did actually get myself out and drive to see whether I could get some photos. I got a couple round near the boathouses in Chinatown and I even drive out to Hungry Head. I almost stopped at Cunnghams’. I just wanted to say to someone : ” I am tired. I am really tired and sad. ” And I thought they were people who would understand that. I still think they are – but I didn’t stop there today.
I kept driving. I hadn’t been home long when I figured that maybe the Moon had risen and it had. Took a shot out the back of my place and then mustered up the wherewithal to walk across the way in the dark to the Lagoon. High tide and full moon . Quite beautiful. I started back and the next thing Old Fella Roo hopped right on past me – I could feel the wind whip of his passing. I like it out there in the blackness.