Its nice to have company. To be driven around and laughing and watching Harry Potter together. Its pretty cold here and I bought actual pyjamas and slippers in Bega.
My brother said it was miraculous that I am as well as I am and he is not one to use superlatives or words like miraculous. We shopped today. Now we settle in and watch a movie. Chinese food from last night and Family. They’ve baked a chocolate cake and we are about to eat it. I have had a happy day.
Another spit of a day. Freaking out quietly and internally. Zip broke on bag. General screw ups everywhere. And a regression to mental collapse. My girl came and that helped. Bed all day and that helped . Sandra cooked buttered chicken and Boston Belle monitored me online. It all helped but my nose bled. My belly hurt and my mind fused. Totally inadequate. Total shutdown. Haven’t got it right at all.
The FIRSTS are just plain shattering. I don’t set out on travels well at the best of times but this time is a humdinger. Memories trying to batter one another to death. Bone Marrow instincts shrieking like Wildnesses. Tormented and wanting to just sit very still and not ever move from this office chair again. Havent worked out how to even secure my house for while I’m gone.
Sweet Holy Heck. And I shall miss my iMac. The routines have been holding me together and the break in them is causing me to shimmer. I do, however, VERY MUCH want to do this trip. Visit with my boy and his girl and look at new places. Once again with feeling, Girl.
IF A THING IS WORTH DOING, ITS WORTH DOING BADLY AT FIRST .
I am unwell – substantially unwell. Its making this week tricky . I do travel trickily any old ways. But a good dose of flu isn’t helping. I am such a delicate wee blossom. I want to be in Jim’s place getting looked after. A bit.
I did eye specialist today and I am to go for 2nd appointment tomorrow. Actually, I feel OK inside with doors and windows closed tonight. Maybe its allergies or hay fever – never had that stuff before. Not till said Coma.
I had a hot dog and doughnut today as well . That doesn’t sound much but after 8 years its a treat. Then I came home and proceeded with the packing. Its cold down there but the luggage limit is 15kg. I am endeavouring to get my head in order. If I wish to travel more, it needs to become something I do with ease. First go is not easy.
IF A THING IS WORTH DOING ITS WORTH DOING BADLY AT FIRST.