Tag Archives: GARDEN


I Stayed home again today. It does me so much good. My girls came. That also does me so much good.

Out the back, the Gents are making the garden and its rather special. We have  Guardian Owl and many vegies planted. From seeds that come from the Mother’s Garden in Armidale and I found the ones of Izzy’s which were left. I have papaya trees and avocadoes and peached and cumquats and all manner of things. The Gents have built a climbing frame for beans and things. They are meticulous in the details which is something I really like. Everything hung neatly. I worked a little inside today. Cleaned out corners where Mice had been and set up the MacBook for late night writing and study.

One thing at a time, I tend to things. I paid the rent online. I cooked dinner – steamed vegies and the yams and potatoes were from the garden. With rice and corn and brussel sprouts. I continue. I just continue.

But I continue as a woman in long term recovery continues. KNOWING THINGS. Knowing wordless things.


Two old men had lived together for many years and they had never fought with one another. The first said to the other, “Let us also have a fight like other men.” The other replied, “I do not know how to fight.” The first said to him, “Look, I will put a brick between us and I will say: it is mine; and you will reply: no, it is mine; and so the fight will begin.” So they put a brick between them and the first said, “No, it is mine”, and the other said, “No, it is mine.” And the first replied, “If it is yours, take it and go.” So they gave it up without being able to find a cause for an argument




Today, jt CAME AND BROUGHT A BALE OF HAY and did my garden. Her and my girls. A warm Autumn day in the sun. I am no gardener. I understand their conversations as little as I understand discussions about cooking. Well, I understand the words but not the allure. I do, however, like gardens.

Today, my sister would have been 63 but she died in 2011. Died with me sitting beside her. Just the one tear rolled down her cheek and then she stopped. Just stopped. I know what death looks like now. Once, I didn’t but now I do. They simply stop and vacate the premises.

And leave the rest of us to garden.

Today, I am well pleased that I don’t take drugs or drink alcohol or do anything which would make less of this Mourning. I haven’t grabbed a new Man or run off to a new place. Its damned near killed me – but tonight I am glad. I feel like A whole person. I feel honourable.