Tag Archives: GRIEF

SETTLING BACK IN TO THE SHACK

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Another day passed and now at home with gas heater on and Facetime with Eden.  I visited Nana B’s new place today while the kids moved a few more things for her. Saf and I gathered some odds and ends from the throwout and we all had a cup of tea. The years play strange tricks on us all . Old grievances seem rather small and foolish now.Nothing more than the day seems to matter greatly. So – we loaded and unloaded and talked and I shopped and fiddled about. Slept the afternoon as I do and ate a pizza for dinner. and now I sit some more in the chilly weather and fiddle online.

I am not wanting to think about much at all. Not wanting to understand anything. I just potter around. I follow some ritualistic behaviours.

I am not mightily glad about some of the effects of being 65 but I am mightily glad about knowing a lot more about Living than I once did.  I AM GLAD that I don’t take drugs or drink grog. Really glad because life c an be very confusing as is and I never want to be sitting in a Doctor’s Surgery in Campsie hiding from my own mother just because I have some paranoid fears developed about Italians pursuing me. Ones that could have been true.

I LIKE KNOWING MYSELF AND NOT JUDGING whether I am a failure or not.

I seem to be in INTEGRATION of some kind. Sitting letting everything find its own place. The Panic has eased greatly. I remain pain free from the Crippling that came post coma.

I am beginning to establish the things I don’t intend to do anymore and develop the ones that I do want to do. AND I AM BECOMING accustomed to the being alone.

SEEMS TO ME WE ALL NEED TO BE AWARE of what’s likely to lie before us. JUST SO THE SHOCK FACTOR IS A LITTLE MITIGATED.

I am also heartily sick of all the established scenarios of PROCESSES of life – including Grieving, and  divorce and house moves and many, many thing.s LABELS are very dangerous indeed – so it seems to me. I find myself with a vast yearning for room to move within any of THEIR LABELS.

And so – the night passes and I shall attempt to sleep before midnight. Tomorrow is the first of our LIDO SHUFFLES – a picnic at the Lido and my brother comes in the afternoon and we intend to dine at the OVH. Otherwise known as the Oceanview Hotel. My folks had their honeymoon there in 1948.

Best tuck myself in now. Do some reading. Hopefully sleep through the Night.  Good Night  mes chers amis.

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IZZY – THE LAST MONTH – 21 MAY 2014 – 21 JUNE 2014.

THE DESCENT INTO WINTERTIME.

IZ 21 MAY 2014

22 MAY 2014 MAGNESIUM OIL FOR THE FEETIZ 22 MAY 2014

23 MAY 2014 PERFORMING AT ANCHORS WHARF CAFE URUNGA. IZ 23MAY 201424 MAY 2014 AT THE BELLINGEN SHOW WITH PHIL WOOD IN THE R.M. WILLIAMS VAN

IZ 24 MAY 2014

25 MAY 2014  – AT RALEIGH RUMBLING

IZ 25 MAY 2014 RALEIGH

26 MAY 2014 RALEIGH WITH THE THREE HOUND DOGS AND A BREKKIE BOOK

IZ 26 MAY 2014

27 MAY COFFS HARBOUR DOWN AT PARK BEACH

IZ 27 MAY 2014

28 MAY 2014 THE GARDEN AT RALEIGH

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29 MAY 2014 RALEIGH

IZ 29 MAY 2014

30 may 2014 EUNGAI POST OFFICE AND STORE

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31 MAY 2014 IZZY IN SOUTH WEST ROCKS WHERE HE STOLE A ROCK

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1 JUNE 2014 IZZY FOREAL WITH GEORGE FINNEY AND SANDRA CLARK AT RALEIGH WINERY.

1 JUNE 2014 WINERY

2 JUNE 2014 IZZY WITH SANDRA CLARK AT THE OCEANVIEW HOTEL IN URUNGA.

IZ LAST MONTH 2 JUNE 2014

3 JUNE 2014 DOWN AT COFFS JETTY. WE HAD JUST BOUGHT A PAIR OF YACHTING SHOES.

IZ 3 JUNE 2014

IZZY 4 JUNE 2014 AT 3D HEADLAND ON A VERY SPECIAL DAY. PLAYING THE MERMAID AND THE SCURVEY PIRATE WITH HIS SAFFRON DOWN AT 3RD HEADLAND.

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5 JUNE 2014 IZZY FOREAL AND SANDRA CLARK REHEARSING AT RALEIGH

IZ LM 5 JUNE 2015

6 JUNE 2014 IZZY IN HIS MUSIC ROOM . HE LOVED THAT ROOM.  BETTER MEMORIES ARE THAT HE LOVED HIS ROOM.

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7 JUNE 2014 IZ SPENDS THE DAY LETTERBOXING RALEIGH FOR HIS GIG AT THE WINERY THE NEXT DAY. THEN COMES HOME THROUGH THE HAY AND GRASSES IN THE KOMBI.

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8 JUNE 2014  RALEIGH WINERY

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9 JUNE 2014 AND IZZY GOES HUNTING IN SCRAPYARDS FOR THINGS TO MAKE HIS GARDENS.

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AT HOME IN  THE KITCHEN AT RALEIGH ON 10 JUNE 2014. HE LOVED HAVING A KITCHEN TO HIMSELF.

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11 JUNE 2014 IZZY PLAYING WITH HIS SAFFRON AT HOME IN RALEIGH

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12 JUNE 2014 IZZY AND THE PIANO AT THE TIP. HE REALLY WANTED TO BRING THIS ONE HOME.

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13 JUNE 2014 IN THE FIG TREES IN FERNMOUNT

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14 JUNE 2014 AT HOME FEEDING CATS AND BUILDING SHEDS

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DRIVING M’LADY. 15 JUNE 2014.

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16 JUNE 2006 IZZY OUT IN HIS BELOVED YARD. HE SURE DID LIKE GROWING THINGS.

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IZZY’S LAST MONTH 17 JUNE 2014 AT THE POMEGRANATE CAFE IN URUNGA. EATING OUT – ONE OF IZZY’S FAVOURITE THINGS.

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AT NORTH BEACH WITH SAFFRON ON 18 JUNE 2014

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19 JUNE 2014 A DAY AT HOME WITH DOGS AND CATS AND LAWNS AND GARDENS AND A SHED TO BE BUILT

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20 JUNE THE LAST DAY. SIGH. SIGH.

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Journey at a Trot.

I’m very busy now. I’m scaling heights, I’m swimming after dark from winter shores; the fishers know my name, and there are nights when ragged people warm my heart, because they share the little that they have. I’ve slept upon the beach, sung jazz up on the stage, and wandered wild for days where sorrow crept to snuffle at my heels. I know the cage that is my isolation. Here’s the door. Just watch me run! I gasp, my body aches but still I must go on, there must be more! I’ll find the energy although it takes its toll of me. My love has passed away. I push to just get through another day.

Kathy Earsman 2004

0 KAYAK LYNNE 2 close 1 WATER 2 KAYAK DISTANCE 1 PADDLE